AUDITIONS FOR A LITTLE MURDER NEVER HURT ANYBODY
A murder mystery comedy by Ron Bernas
Directed by Dan Gibbins
Performances at the Pumphouse Theatre – January 26th to February 10th, 2018
They say that New Year’s Resolutions, that most time-honoured tradition, are doomed to fail. People throw themselves enthusiastically at a lofty goal; this year they will cut out sugar completely, learn a new language by July, quit smoking, or finally write their novel. It doesn’t matter that their outline has the page count skyrocketing – it has been resolved! And on the glitziest, tipsiest of nights too! It can’t possibly fail. So, what happens when Matthew Perry, husband to Julia, father to Bunny, resolves that before the clock strikes midnight one year from now, he will have murdered his wife? Well, she laughs hysterically for a moment before vowing that she will make passionate love to their butler and then they go off to host their party. What this new year brings is laugh after laugh, body after body (not Julia’s…Matthew isn’t very good at this), and a bona fide gumshoe, who probably couldn’t buy gum. Or a shoe. Join us for a new year full of comedy, mystery, marriage (maybe) and falling in love all over again!
Matthew Perry (Male, 50s)
Genial and well-meaning, Matthew has regardless decided that his retirement would be more enjoyable with a dead wife and a new girlfriend. But his crime technique needs work.
Julia Perry (Female, 50s)
Enjoys the intellectual stimulation of thwarting her husband’s assassination attempts.
Buttram (Male, 40s-60s)
The family butler. Devoted to the Perry family despite their eccentricities, but concealing a secret.
Bunny Perry (Female, 20s)
Naive and absent minded, she hopes to make her wedding the social event of the year, despite this rash of mysterious deaths surrounding it.
Donald (Male, 20s)
Bunny’s fiance, devoted to her but in over his head with the family dramatics.
Plotnick (Male, 30s-50s)
A detective who fancies himself the next Sam Spade, but hasn’t quite got a clue.
- A prepared comedic monologue to highlight your abilities (approximately two to five minutes)
- Please bring your resume and headshot to the audition
Not a traditional actor? That is okay, get in touch with us and we will find a way for you to showcase what you have to offer.