A farce by Paul Slade Smith
Directed by Chelsea Friesen and Marie-Claire Gould
Performances at the Pumphouse Theatre – September 28th to October 6th, 2018

This is Eric and Billie’s chance. They have this one opportunity to prove they have what it takes to become full-fledged members of the police force. The hotel rooms are booked, the recording equipment is set up and functional. The informant has been prepped and the suspect is on his way. It’s all quite simple and straightforward. So naturally, it all goes catastrophically, ridiculously wrong. This side-splittingly funny season opener will have you giggling and rooting for our two wannabe cops from the moment we meet them. They are surrounded by a colorful cast of characters including Karen, who can’t seem to keep her clothes on, Frank, a cowardly security officer, and sweet, kind Mayor Meekly, who just can’t seem to get his meeting started no matter what he does, or what door he tries. This show is guaranteed to have you laughing out loud as we witness bumble after bumble, and bagpipes…did we already mention the bagpipes? Join us for this hilarious first show of our 2018-2019 season!


Eric Sheridan (Male, 30s)
Police Detective (primarily desk job), Bookish and has lived his life to this point in one direction. He is inspired to become more bold throughout the play. Special Notes: Will make out with Karen, and have action happen while not wearing pants and/or shirt. Some stage fighting is required. Must be comfortable with Intimate choreography

Billie Dwyer (Female, 20s-30s)
Unimposing but spunky. Looking to make her mark as a real cop, even though she lacks every skill to be successful and seems destined to fail. Special Note: Able to stage fight, and be tied up.

Karen Brown (Female, 30s)
Accountant. An accountant who, just recently found her sexual switch turned on. Special Note: Undresses on stage down to slip. Must be comfortable with Intimate choreography

Mayor Meekly (Male, 50s-70s)
Mayor of the City. An innocent and accepting person. Affable, gentle but mis-interprets the meaning of situations.

Agent Frank (Male, 20s-50s)
Physically Gruff like he has seen too much 1950s detective, however he spooks easily.

Todd (Male, 20s-50s)
A professional hitman that is cold, perceptive, and methodical when at his best but his fuse is short. He speaks with a pronounced Scottish accent but at times he is indecipherable. Special Note: The Scottish accent and indecipherable angry scottish must both sound realistic. Some stage falls are required.

Mary Meekly (Female, 50s-70s)
Small in Stature, a seemingly sweet match for her husband yet there is more there than meets the eye.

Audition Requirements:

  • A prepared comedic monologue to highlight your abilities (approximately two minutes)
  • A cold read may be requested
  • Please bring your resume and headshot to the audition

Not a traditional actor?  That is okay, get in touch with us and we will find a way for you to showcase what you have to offer.

Open auditions for all roles will take place:

  • Tuesday June 19th (7:00 to 9:00pm)
  • Wednesday June 20th (7:00 to 9:00pm)
  • Saturday June 23rd (1:00 to 4:00pm)

at the Morpheus Rehearsal Centre
3512 – 5th Avenue NW
(lower level of the Parkdale Community Centre)
Click here for a Google Map.

Callbacks, if required, will take place on Wednesday June 27th from 7:00 to 10:00pm.

Rehearsals will take place from July 29th through September 27th.  Rehearsals will be Sunday AFTERNOONS OR EVENINGS (TBD after casting is complete), Tuesday and Thursday evenings. Morpheus Theatre requires that auditioners come prepared to commit to the rehearsal and performance schedule.

Call 403-246-2999 or send an e-mail for more info.

Choose an available Audition Time:

Tuesday June 19
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Wednesday June 20
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Saturday June 23
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